Sharp Bikes
Show the world your Sharp Bike!
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A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted
a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the
newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes
across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon
inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He
inquires about it with the owner."This bike is beautiful! I'll take it.
But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if
the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the
chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying
the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you
can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes
the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a
Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's
parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and
figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to
the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents
before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the
person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the
living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room,
another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes.
In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to
dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage
of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No
one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her
breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.
So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they
make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's
Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table.
Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realizes
it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the
motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll
do the damn dishes."
Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when
the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a
broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with
the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put the jacket on
backwards." His friend advised. They continued down the road
but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out. A
nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the
police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?"
"Well," the farmer explained, "the driver was until I turned his
head around the right way!"
God & The Motorcycle
The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle, Arthur
Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter
told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your
motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can
hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to
hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced
him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were
the one who invented motorcycles, eh?!"
Arthur said, "Ya, that was me..."
God commented, "Well, what's the big deal of inventing
something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution,
and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke,
"Excuse me but aren't you the inventor of woman???"
God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have
some major design flaws in your invention":
There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
It chatters constantly at high speeds.
Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"
"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied
God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few
words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to
Arthur, "but ...according to these numbers, more men are
riding my invention than yours!"
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ha ha